Hisasiburi dane? (It's been a while, hasn't it?)

Well, I'm sure all of the members of my motley crew are aware that I am now David's girlfriend.  It came as a shock to me at first because I didn't expect for him to ask me to date him, but then again I'm probably denser than a baked brick so I didn't see it coming.  When he popped the question, I couldn't help but agree.

When I first met him I thought he was really cool.  A bit on the morbid, cynical side, but cool regardless because we could easily get into conversations about practically anything.  He had his bouts of bitterness, but we're all allowed that.

However, he has definitely changed as a person and I think that is what I fell in love with first.  He's nicer, sweeter, a lot friendlier than he was 3 years ago, and he's all mine ^__^.  But seriously though, I can't think of a better man out there than David, just because of all of the positive attributes he has.  We can sit and talk about nothing, and I could walk away feeling as though I'd had the best conversation in the world.  I enjoy his company whenever we do ANYTHING, and that is definitely a perk that will aid in our relationship in the future.  It's just stunning how he's grown and matured into this loveable, handsome, cuddly guy who enjoys all the stupid things that I enjoy.

I've already referred to him as my Partner In Crime, and he definitely fits that description well.  We're compatible in every sense, and every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I find myself LONGING to skip class just so that I can be in his company.  It's really funny, because the first guy I dated NEVER made me feel like this.

If there is one thing I admire about him the most, it is the fact that he makes me feel loved in every sense of the word.  I just feel this great warmth when I'm with him, and I'm not afraid to be myself, nor am I pressured to change or hide my flaws.  He is well aware of my flaws and accepts them, just as I am aware of his flaws and I accept them regardless.  Hell, neither of us is perfect, and I think that's what we love about each other the most.  We're both geeky idiots who can sit for hours and scare ourselves stupid with Silent Hill, then laugh like hyenas at Bobobo, then make fun of crappy shows with snide, witty banter.

He's also helped me feel more confident in myself.  He makes me feel like a beautiful person, which is ironic because I was feeling bad a few weeks ago about how my weight had gone up.  For him to show interest in me, I just feel... well... pretty.

There's so much I want to say about him but I just can't describe it.  We share a mutual respect for each other, and I like how our initial attraction was based on our matching intellect and our humor in cartoons.  I think that attraction is what will make this relationship work, because I enjoy discussing things with him that we share common interests in.  Trust me, having a discussion about ANYTHING with your soulmate definitely makes it the most important topic in the world.

Feeling loved like this just makes me feel more comfortable with returning it, because I've always seen myself as somewhat of a closed off person when it comes to this kind of affection.  For him to display it so openly, it encourages me to reciprocate it without any fear, because we both deserve loving affection such as this.  I definitely look forward to a long, lasting relationship with the most wonderful man created (besides the lead singer of Queen), David Irons.

David, if you're reading this (and you should otherwise I will kill you while making you watch me burn your Gamecube), I just want you to know how great of a person you are.  You may not realize it, but you've opened up parts of me that I shut tight long ago.  I was afraid of opening myself up to any man who was interested in me because I was afraid of the relationship going sour like my Mom's did with my Father.  But with you, I don't think about that at all, because you make me feel content just being near me.  You have to be the greatest man ever created, and I almost feel as though I don't deserve you at times.  I love David Irons, and plan to love him even 20 years from now.

I just found the most awesome show ever.....  youtube.com has episodes of the best show evars

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kE3Lnudg98w&search=Live%20action%20Sailor%20Moon

I'm numb
I'm cold
I'm lost
I'm confused
What I thought to be true, what I thought to be right
Has now been shoved back into my face
As though it didn't matter
My heart has been coated in lead
And left to drop
Left to plummet and crack
Within the nothingness that now fills my gut
I'm black on the inside
A swirling tempest of torment swells within me
Blackening the area where my heart should reside
There is only emptiness
No sound
No warmth
Just nothing
I feel one way but am prodded to feel another
I feel my body splitting in two
Torn between faith and my own heart's cry
Yeah, that's right
Go ahead and say it
"Love the sinner, not the sin"
"Love the sinner, not the sin"
I love the sinners
But others see my love as approving of sin
I don't
I never have
My eyes have been opened to sin
And I've been persuaded to see with an open heart and open mind in one area
And then told to shut them both to an area that matters most to me
I don't know what to do
Where to go
What to believe
What to say, because my mouth will spew an acid which people will feel
Obliged to clean
I've felt the pain on one side,
Only to feel it again when I'm persuaded to go against it
To go against the compassion I've learned to show
to those who will never receive it
I love the loveless
But receive scorn in return
I'm surrounded by those who do not see the sinner,
Only the sin and nothing more
It's easy to see the body
But to see the heart is difficult
It is easy to pretend to feel the pain
When it's a pain you've never felt
It's easy to pretend to feel compassion
When you put on a face of truth to hide how much you despise
It's easy to turn off the pain
When it was never turned on to begin with
It's easy to shy away from what you fear
Because then it makes it easier to hate what you don't understand
Why we're afraid
Why we judge
Why we speak behind our palms
Why we whisper
Why we scurry like roaches when the light of the situation
Floods upon us
To understand both sides........
Nevermind. 
It is never possible.
And until my voice can ring with the others
I will continue to squeak all alone
I will continue to love those who will never receive anything other than scorn
I will continue to see with their eyes
I will continue to pray for change on both sides
And I will continue
Until the numbness goes away

http://www.youtube.com/w/Silent-Hill-movie-trailer?v=kGVIQUPP59A&search=Silent%20Hill


This my ghoulish friends, is a link to the website youtube.com where I found the first official trailer to Silent Hill the Movie.  ............  My prayers go out to this one, I really want to see this movie done RIGHT.

Got some more pictures thanks to the idiots on Newgrounds forums

Hola, Konnichiwa, and various other salutations, my fellow cronies, and a Merry Christmas to you all

 

Couple of things to talk about, but since I'm nice, I'll divide them into sections because I'm too busy to think up eloquent transitions ^_^

 

1. Merry Christmas

Mel's been on a kick about this too, but I have a lot I want to say about it as well.  What's the problem with ads and shows on television not saying "Merry Christmas?"  Just because you say it doesn't mean that you're automatically forcing the Christian faith on all other peoples, because that's just what the holiday is.  I don't see December 25 being called "Happy Holiday Day".

To me, "Happy Holidays" is something you say when you completely blow off greeting someone on all of the holidays of the year and then you B.S. it near the end of the year by just lumping all of your botched greetings onto one day. 

I formulated a formula showing how one can put together a perfect "Happy Holiday" greeting:

Happy New Year + Happy Valentine's Day + Happy St. Patrick's Day + Happy Easter + Happy Mother's Day + Happy Father's Day + Happy 4th Of July + Happy Halloween + Happy Thanksgiving + Merry Christmas/Happy Hannukah/Happy Kwanzaa = HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

So if anyone says "Happy Holidays" to you, it means that their lazy asses didn't do their other holiday greetings to their friends and family.  This constitutes a sharp jab with a stick right to the nipple.

I've noticed too that Christmas has lost Christ.  Seriously.  Not only has his name been replaced by an X and the word "Holidays," but he's completely nonexistent and pales in comparison to a morbidly obese man in a red suit who has more tabs on you and your children than the FBI.  Why aren't children afraid of him?  If someone saw me when I was sleeping and when I was awake, I'd be more concerned that Santa Claus was packing a rifle than my presents for the end of the year.  Whatever happened to people enjoying the closeness of family, despite any altercations that occur during the year?  Personally, I'm not extremely close to my Father's side of the family, but this year, our get-together was just beautiful.  They haven't seen me in quite a while, and when I came to the house, I was greeted with so many hugs, kisses, and "I love you so much, I missed you's" that I almost wanted to cry.  My cousin and I sat down and talked for a good 2 hours, just catching up, and I helped set the table.  I actually felt like a part of the family, and I was very sad when we left.  Not only this, but the Christmas get-together we had at my house was great too.  My Mom and I worked from 2pm until 9pm on Friday baking and cooking foods, and the entire time, we got to talk about everything that had gone on during the year. 

That was what I valued most about this Christmas; my closeness to my family, a closeness I haven't felt in a long, long time, which is why I think this year's Christmas was the best Christmas ever.

I know there are people who, no matter how hard they try, cannot get along with family members, but be that as it may, I do believe that there should be more emphasis on the family than on the presents kids rip into like rabid hyenas on Christmas morning.  I haven't even seen a heartwarming commercial that celebrates the proverbial "True meaning of Christmas."  All I see is commercials for toys, for games, for phones.  Reminds me, my cousin Amani (Mel met him; he's a brat) wanted an X-Box 360 for Christmas.  Mind you, he already has a PS2 and he still possesses a Nintendo 64.  My Godmother, Amani's mom, flat out told him that she couldn't get him one because they were all sold out.  Like, completely sold out.  When he got the news, he didn't take into account the fact that she TRIED to get it for him, or that she got him a whole bunch of other good stuff.  No.  All that mattered to him was getting ANOTHER video game system, and since he wasn't geting it, he moped all throughout Christmas Eve with a permanent frown on his face.

I just don't get it.  I was happier Christmas morning when my Mom opened her gifts.  She was really happy with everything, as was I, just because it really is the thought that counts when it comes to gifts and the overall atmosphere of Christmas.

2. Gifts

I did very well this year.  For the sake of the New Years Party I'm planning, I am now the proud owner of Karaoke Revolution and DDR Extreme 2.  My mom forgot to get the microphone for KR, but I told her I can pick one up at GameStop on my own.  I've also got some snazzy new sweatshirts, some white and blue Skechers, monkey slippers, some bath stuff, and one of my fave movies, Mad Hot Ballroom.  Don't worry, it's not porn LOL.  I look forward to Karaoke Revolution because I played it once at Peter's house and it was really fun, which is why I'm hoping Mel and Sam will like it since they're not really video-game people like David and I are.  I'm hoping too to let Sam have another shot at Guitar Hero because I could tell she got a bit frustrated with it, but I think she was doing great.  Mel, I think, is now a Guitar Hero addict ^_^

3. Sketch Diary

I was bored one night, so I whipped out my sketch diary and started fooling around.  The result of my boredom was a fan created homonculus, the 8th Homonculus Stupidity.  Yes, I know stupidity isn't a deadly sin, but it should be.  There are so many stupid people in the world, yet they continue to procreate and pollute the world with their lack of intelligence. 

Stupidity was, of course, created by a botched human transmutation via his friends because they didn't know what they were doing when they brought him back.  He died as a result of playing an illegal game of russian roullette with a loaded gun.

When he came back to "life", Dante (in my world, she's still there, so shut up) fed him some red stones, but the only problem was they didn't heal the orifice left in his brain.  As a result, his mind is a blank sheet, and he's more simple minded than Gluttony.  His uberos is on his forehead, directly where the fateful bullet passed through, and his powers radiate from there.  He can send out waves of paralysis that basically paralyze you from the head down.  Also, to make up for his lack of a brain, he can place a hand on an opponent's head and basically steal their intelligence from them for a limited time.  This allows him to seek the information Dante sends him out to find, and also makes him a deadlier enemy.  After all, your worst enemy is yourself, right?  Once his objective is completed, his mind goes back to normal, and he falls back under the watchful eye of any of his fellow homonculi-chaperones.

Don't know where I got the idea for his character design.  I decided to make him blond (yeah yeah, it's a stereotype.  Who cares?), and he forever has a vacant look on his face.  He kind of lumbers around a bit, so I kept his expression to fit that image.  He wears a half shirt like Wrath, but his is the same material as Envy's so it clings to him.  He also has Envy's gloves, and his pants are black and baggy.  Haven't thought of the footwear just yet.  Personally, I think he's cute ^_^

 

I also made a short mini-manga about Greed, Envy, and Vejita.  Basically, Envy points out that Greed and Vejita look alike in a lot of ways.  Can't really describe it too well here; you'll have to see the strip for yourselves.  I'm currently working on another one where Vejita and Hiei discuss what sins/homonculi they'd become.  Oh, and newsflash: THESE COMICS ARE IN COLOR!! ^_^

Well, that's all I can say for updates right now.  I gotta go draw, then stuff myself stupid off of greens, black eyed peas, and ugly cake.

TTFN

TEH SARU

I found a couple of pictures online tonight, and a lot of them got big laughs out of me. So, I'll just share my poison with the rest of ya ^_^ So yeah.... This is a result of me being up too late/loving the internet so much.... I should... Yeah..... Bed.... BTW got Guitar Hero tonight. Set me back a bit, but I can't wait to play it ^_^. When I picked it up, the package was really big, so I got weird looks as I made my way out of the mall. I didn't care. I gots me my GH, and I'll play the hell out of it. Now if you'll excuse me.... I'm listening to Hustle Beach right now, so I gotta rock out for a little while. L8r. OOH NEW EPISODE OF ED EDD N EDDY!!!! THERE LIKE SWIMWEAR!!

DO YOU SEE THIS??!?!?!? DO ALL OF YOU SEE THIS?!?!?!?!?!??!?! THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I LISTEN TO IT, DARN IT!


*relaxing breath* the whole point of this blog isn't to be irritable, its just to shed some light on things here.

I'm sure my current readers in my circle of friends are well aware of the situation with the whole music thing, and despite the fact that I'm probably being a bitch about the situation and blowing it out of proportion, I do want to shed some truth to help drive away some of the assumptions that are completely unfounded and most of all untrue.

I DO listen to the radio, guys. Seriously. If I didn't listen to radio, how do you explain me having CDs of the Spice Girls, Jamiraquai, techno, swing, and others? What happened in the past was there was this magical invention called a CD that contained selected songs from groups so that you wouldn't have to sit and wait for your favorite song to be played on the radio.



This picture here is a CD, the magical object that steered my attention from the 20-minutes-of-commercials-2-minutes-of-music mecca you call a radio station. I bought CDs from my favorite groups: 4 Gorillaz CDs, 2 Spice Girls CDs, a swing CD I got from Sasami, a good handful of trance/techno CDs my Father got for me long ago.

I want to make a point here. I heard the Gorillaz song "Clint Eastwood" long ago, and for the longest time it plagued me to find out who that group was because I liked hearing them on the radio. Problem was, the song was played sparringly amid countless boy band/Britney Spears/other unlisten-worthy crap. So I took matters into my own hands and went to get the CD for myself, and viola, I now own it.

A couple of years ago, I had the same situation with the song "Move Your Feet" by Junior Senior. It wasn't until I saw their video that I found out who the group was, and for a while whenever I drove my car, I tuned in to 107.9 to see if they'd play it. They did every so often, but the song was so addictive I wanted to hear it more often. Once again, I went out and bought their single so I don't have to wait by the radio like an idiot waiting for my favorite song to play.

As far as video game is concerned, I personally feel well rounded in the fact that ALL VIDEO GAME MUSIC IS DIFFERENT. You're not going to hear anything Final Fantasy in Parappa the Rapper, and you're not going to hear Bust A Groove's "Blue Knife" theme in Silent Hill. Want me to break it down?

-Silent Hill makes use of depressing yet fulfilling piano instrumentals that set the moods for terror, thoughtfulness, and lonliness.

-Parappa the Rapper makes use of hip hop tracks applied to random situations in life, like driving a car, flipping burgers, even using the bathroom

-Bust A Groove has songs from every category available: Disco; "The Natural Playboy", J-pop; "Shorty and the EZ Mouse/Warette PON," "Aleggretto Break," "Enka 1," "Magic Tower," "Got to Be Happy!", house/techno; "Chemical Love," "Zombie Hopper", rap/hip hop; "Power", "Here Comes Trouble," "I Know", "2Bad," funk; "I luv Hamburgers", and COUNTLESS others

-Um Jammer Lammy makes use of the rock and roll genre

-Katamari Damacy has tracks ranging from swing/jazz to soothing Japanese melodies

-Guilty Gear's intrumentals for each character are all different; May's theme is upbeat in a way that describes her character, while Millia's is beautiful but somewhat pained due to the way the harpsichord is played accompanied by the guitar

-Tai fu is a combination of traditional Chinese instruments/melodies combined with hip-hop elements, providing each level with a drumming beat AND a touch of China's musical background

-Final Fantasy has very dramatic, cinematically conducted instrumentals that are akin to what you'd hear in a Dreamworks film or a Disney film.

-DDR/ITG/Drummania. Hmm. Where to start? DDR has music ranging from Euro pop to J-pop to American rock songs (that suck *cough*CRASH*coughcough*). O Jiya is my FAVORITE song because I LOVE INDIAN MUSIC!!

I love anime music because they're themes that aren't tampered with like most things on the radio are. "Ready Steady Go," "Undo," and "Rewrite" all set the atmosphere for a show that I already love, because when I hear the guitar solo in "Ready Steady Go," I see it symbolizing Edward because a guitar's chords can range from high cries to low growls, which in turn shows how his character can behave during each episode. The drums, I feel, more or less set the pace for the journey Edward and Alphonse are constantly trekking.


I may not be seen listening to the radio often, but that doesn't mean that I don't. For many years, I would go to sleep at night with the radio on. And even now, when I get tired of hearing "Move Your Feet", I'll listen to KWOD on the way home and rock the hell out to "Holiday" just to see people give me stupid looks.

Guy in other car: WTF is wrong with that girl?
Me: **** YOU JERK ASS!!! *rocks her unholy ass off*

And currently, I've taken up listening to 104.3 because on a whim one day, I turned the channel to it and I heard this really cool techno-ish song with a GREAT beat to it.

I also have considered getting a few CDs of Indian music just because I got hooked after O Jiya (and watching a few videos on International Channel).

So yeah, I don't actively listen to Shakira or Will Smith, but who's to say that I dislike them just because I don't have them burned onto my Musicmatch Jukebox? The song "Why" tugged harshly at my heart strings, and I love the song "Switch". Shakira's "La Tortura" (sp?) is a great song as well (even though I don't understand a word she's saying). I really can't be blamed for not listening to Selena, because my friend Sabrina and I watched the movie at least 100 TIMES and we even went dutch on a CD... which I.... never....... got... back... *pouts*

So there you have it. A brilliant expose on my so-called life under the genre of music.

Part of being an individual is having individual tastes, and even if I don't listen to the stuff that you guys do, that doesn't mean I'm not getting a taste of everything in what I DO listen to.

And I'm spent. *rocks out to O jiya, blasts it at 100x, goes deaf at age 20*

I breathe
I fume
Foul, acrid plumes
is that what pours from my mouth?
through my teeth?
does it boil within my eyes
as my thoughts percolate?
am I a monster?
This dirt is constantly in my face, no matter what I do
stinging my eyes
bringing on unwanted tears
bringing on sensations within that tear through my ribs
and through a crimson shower
make themselves known
Everything stings
Everything aches
My chest devoid of a heart throbs
as words once seen as words
become daggers
slaying the beast within me
so that others may rejoice
That is what I am
apparently
A beast within a beast
an Uberos
Forever contradicting, forever confusing, forever insulting
mass of what could be seen as humanity
if you got past
the acid.
Kiss me, hug me
hurt me, push me
do what you want
why fight?
if I do
your fate will be sealed
with the opening of my mouth
you will be consumed
by the acid

............................OMFG FOMCFOFROFLMAO WTFH?!?!?!?!